17 Positive Reasons Why Self Love Isn’t Selfish

You have probably heard the phrase, “self love isn’t selfish,” but what does it mean? You’ve probably also thought that self love is associated with being greedy and thoughtless of others. But that is not the case. Let me explain why self love isn’t selfish.

A lot of us were raised to believe that we should always put others first. But that mindset conflicts with what most people associate with self love. Honestly, that’s not what self love means. While it’s nice to be thoughtful of others, it should not come at the expense of our own happiness and wellness.

a young happy woman in a peach sweater hugs herself to show that self love isn't selfish and a self love quote from Rupi inspires her
17 Positive Reasons Why Self Love Isn’t Selfish

Amazing things can happen in your life when you begin to practice self love. Once you begin to tend to your own mental health and physical health, you will be more available for others. You’ll have more to share with those around you.

Once you become your own best friend, and tend to your own needs, you can develop more healthy relationships with family members and friends. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship in your life.


Related Article: 50 Powerful Affirmations for Self Love


Reasons Why Self Love Isn’t Selfish

Knowing and loving yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your friends, partners, family members and the wider community. In other words, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself and others. It’s true love — not selfish love. It’s the opposite end of the spectrum from selfishness.

These are 17 reasons why self love isn’t selfish:

1. When you nurture your inner world, you become capable of handling hard times and challenges.

2. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

3. By definition, self love means respecting your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. People who don’t value these things struggle with low self-esteem.

4. At the end of the day, the most important person in your life is YOU.

5. Self love defeats the negative energy that makes it difficult for you to be the best version of yourself.

6. Your need for approval and acceptance isn’t worth compromising your own needs.

7. Courage is an act of self love and courage is the only way to be in control of your own life.

8. When you accept and love yourself completely, you are able to become the master of your emotions and make healthier choices in life.

9. A little love goes a long way in establishing routines and quality time that support your personal wellbeing.

10. Nourishing your mind, body, and soul is a way of saying to yourself, “You matter.”

11. When you focus on your own happiness, you will develop a positive mindset that allows you to spread happiness toward others.

12. When you love yourself and commit to your own wellbeing and happiness, you become an inspiration to those around you.

13. You attract the energy that you give off — so love yourself and others will love you too.

14. The act of self love helps increase peace of mind and decrease chaotic, intense experiences.

15. The practice of self love supports better decision making, greater resilience, and self motivation.

16. Love is not a finite resource — you have an abundance of love to go around — so don’t deprive yourself.

17. Self love recharges your emotional and spiritual batters for improved wellbeing and compassion toward others.

As you can see, by empowering yourself with love, you develop a greater capacity to contribute in great ways to others as well as create a healthier, happier life for yourself! This is absolutely why self love isn’t selfish! It’s okay to put yourself first!


Related Article: Making a Case for Positive Selfishness


a self love checklist written on a rose colored background with a pale heart underneath the words
Self Love Checklist

How Do You Practice Self Love Without Being Selfish?

Consider these acts of self love and self care in your efforts to develop a mindset of self love. You will learn that self love habits are the best way to enrich your life and the lives of your loved ones.

  1. Set healthy boundaries with people and time.
  2. Learn to say no and honor yourself.
  3. Surround yourself with positive people.
  4. Practice simple acts of self-care every single day.
  5. Walk away from toxic relationships.
  6. Do things that make you happy.
  7. Dedicate time to your personal growth every day. (journal, affirmations, yoga, meditation, etc.)
  8. Get enough sleep every night.
  9. Be mindful and present in all that you do.
  10. Express gratitude daily for all the wonderful things in your life.
  11. Maintain a positive mindset with journal prompts and affirmations.
  12. Take deep breaths regularly to clear your body of toxicity.
  13. Speak to yourself as if you are speaking to your best friend — kind and encouraging.
  14. Replace negative thoughts and self talk with positive affirmations.
  15. Take a day off now and then to replenish and refresh without feeling guilty.
  16. Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious meals.
  17. Listen to soothing music as you rest your head and close your eyes.

Studies have linked self-love, self-care, and self-compassion to many positive character traits, such as greater emotional intelligence and feelings of social connectedness and life satisfaction – all of which have positive beneficial effects for those around us.

a small candle sits on the corner of a small table with a self love quote to inspire
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~ Stephen Chboskyn

Self Love Isn’t Selfish Quotes

You can use these inspirational quotes to help you reframe your mindset around the concept of self love. Self love is free — empowering and important to all!

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

~ Robert Morley

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

~ Buddha

“Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”

~ Leo F Buscaglia

“Self love is not selfish, it is not rude or self-seeking. It doesn’t brag or puff-up, it doesn’t compete or fight. Self love starts within and flows outward. It gives in abundance with nothing to hide, nothing to prove.”

~ Jenna Ryan

“When you learn how to build a positive and loving relationship with yourself, you cultivate an enhanced sense of self that not only benefits you, but the loved ones around you.”

~ Whitney Gordon-Mead

“Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered, or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your own development, growth, and happiness.”

~ Iyanla Vanzant

Related Article: Love Yourself Enough


love yourself blocks in yellow blue and pink on a rose colored background to support the idea that self love isn't selfish
Make self love a priority in your life.

Final Thoughts: Self Love isn’t Selfish, It’s Essential

I can relate to learning new things and thinking, “How will self-love benefit me?” But you need to trust that self-love means so much more than loving yourself — it’s the love of others as well. It’s actually the opposite of selfishness because you become able to give more of yourself to everyone around you.

Self love doesn’t take any extra time out of your day. It’s a mindset shift that helps you make positive changes in your life that protect your wellbeing and preserve your time. Give yourself permission to love yourself. Self love is the best thing you can ever do for yourself!

Now order yourself some fresh flowers — or go pick some from your yard — and celebrate YOU! A lot of people would want to be spectacular YOU so be sure to love and take good care of yourself!

Love to ALL! ~ Susan

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Are You Convinced that Self Love Isn’t Selfish Yet?

How do you practice self love? Please share in the comments below:)

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