12 Things People Do on First Dates That Send the Wrong Message
First dates are full of possibility, but they can also be tricky to navigate. Sometimes, even small behaviors can leave the wrong impression and make things awkward.
Recognizing these common pitfalls helps you create a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for both you and your date.
Constantly checking your phone
When you keep glancing at your phone, it can make your date feel ignored or unimportant. It suggests that something else is more interesting than the person sitting across from you.
It’s okay to check your phone occasionally, but try to keep it for urgent matters only.
If you need to use your phone, involve your date in the activity, like looking up directions or picking a place to eat.
Talking only about yourself
If you spend the whole date talking about yourself, it can come across as self-centered. Your date wants to feel heard and valued, so asking questions and listening is important.
Sharing your interests is great, but make sure the conversation is balanced. Try to show genuine curiosity about your date’s life and experiences.
Bringing up ex-partners too soon
Talking about your ex early on can create an awkward vibe. It might make your date feel like you’re not fully present or emotionally ready for something new.
If you mention an ex without being asked, it can give the impression you’re still attached to the past.
It’s okay to briefly explain past relationships if it comes up naturally, but try not to dwell on negative details.
Over-sharing personal details
You might feel nervous and want to be open, but sharing too much too soon can overwhelm your date. Revealing deep personal stories or struggles early on can make the conversation feel unbalanced.
Try to keep things light and focus on getting to know each other gradually.
Instead, save the more intimate details for later when trust has built up.
Interrupting your date
When you interrupt your date, it can make them feel unheard and unimportant. It breaks the flow of conversation and may come across as dismissive.
Try to listen fully before responding. This shows respect and helps you understand their thoughts better.
If you realize you interrupted, a quick apology goes a long way. It shows you care about their perspective.
Let your date share without jumping in too soon.
Forgetting to make eye contact
When you avoid eye contact on a first date, it can make you seem disinterested or distracted. Your date might feel like you’re not fully engaged in the conversation.
Making consistent eye contact shows that you are paying attention and value the time you’re spending together.
Try to balance looking into their eyes without staring. Small breaks help keep the interaction natural and comfortable for both of you.
Arriving late without notice
Showing up late to a first date without letting your date know can make you seem disrespectful of their time. It sends a message that you might not value the plans you made together.
If you know you’ll be late, a quick message or call helps keep things smooth. It shows you’re responsible and considerate.
Being punctual also gives you a chance to start the date relaxed and focused.
Ordering the most expensive item
Ordering the priciest dish on a first date can send the wrong message. It might come across as showing off or being inconsiderate of your date’s budget.
Sometimes, it’s just about what you want to eat. But if your date isn’t comfortable, it can create awkward tension.
If you’re unsure, choosing a moderately priced meal shows you’re thoughtful and mindful.
Discussing politics or religion aggressively
Bringing up politics or religion on a first date isn’t always a bad thing, but doing so aggressively can make things uncomfortable. When you express strong opinions too forcefully, it might come across as pushy or judgmental.
You want the conversation to feel open, not like a debate or confrontation.
If these topics come up, try to listen more than argue. Showing respect for different views sets a positive tone.
Already planning future dates
Talking about your next few dates before you’ve even finished this one can feel overwhelming. It might make your date think you’re rushing or not fully present.
Focus on enjoying the moment instead. Building a genuine connection takes time.
If you show too much eagerness too soon, it might come across as pushy or insincere.
Excessive drinking
Drinking a little to relax on a first date can be okay, but too much often sends the wrong message. When you drink excessively, you risk saying or doing things you usually wouldn’t, which can make your date uncomfortable.
Keeping your drinks moderate helps you stay in control and focused on the conversation.
Overindulging might make you seem less dependable or serious about the date.
Being overly negative or complaining
Focusing on what’s wrong or complaining about past experiences can create a heavy atmosphere. Your date might feel drained or think you have a negative outlook on life.
Try to keep the conversation balanced by mentioning positive things about yourself and your interests. Staying upbeat helps you come across as more approachable and enjoyable to be around.
It’s okay to be honest, but avoid criticizing your date or the situation. Keep the mood light to encourage a genuine connection.
