My Husband Keeps Telling Me to Workout My Jaw to Get Rid of My Double Chin, I Got Upset and He Says “You’re Being Too Sensitive” He Makes Me Feel Ugly
She walked into the car after a long day at work and her husband reached over and started playing with the fold under her chin. It was a small gesture, the kind a couple might laugh about, except she had told him before that it hurt her. She’s 37, they’ve been trying to get pregnant for two years, and she’s endured four miscarriages plus a delivery at five months that ended in loss. Her weight has shifted from 50kg to 60kg at 5’2″ over the past two years because of pregnancies, hormones and depression, and she is already self-conscious.
When he dismissed her discomfort and told her she could “work out” her jaw, even name-dropping a story about a twin study where one twin did exercises and became “beautiful” while the other stayed “ugly”, she finally snapped and called him an asshole. He told her she was “being too sensitive.” She posted on Reddit asking AITAH, and the replies were brutal.
Exactly what she said, and why it blew up
In her post, u/vivid_wanderer lays out the facts plainly: the miscarriages and loss, the weight change, the repeated boundary setting, and the moment that pushed her over the edge. She wrote that she always tells him to stop when he plays with her double chin. This time, he not only kept going but offered “tongue exercises” as a solution, and doubled down with the twin anecdote. She felt the story reduced her to an object to be “fixed” and said as much; he responded that she was overreacting and called her sensitive. The post became a snapshot of a painfully common household mismatch, one partner minimizing and one partner wounded.
Why this cut so deep
It’s not just about a double chin. Commenters on the thread repeatedly connected his words to the couple’s deeper emotional landscape. She’s grieving multiple losses, living with hormonal shifts and depression, and has told him her weight worries. When a partner pokes at an insecurity and then lectures you on how to change your face, it doesn’t feel like caring; it feels like erasure. Several people wrote that given what she’s been through, she deserves tenderness, not “advice” framed as critique. One commenter, u/MienaLovesCats, expressed sympathy tied directly to similar trauma and emphasized how devastating it is when your partner isn’t a source of safety during fragile seasons.
How strangers reacted, and what that says about the behavior
The top responses were overwhelmingly on her side. u/Embarrassed-Fan9901 warned bluntly: “NTA and please reconsider having children with this person. What if he talks this way to your child?” Another asked, dryly, “Is there an exercise he can do to increase his emotional intelligence?” Many echoed that he was being insensitive at best, mean at worst. People called attention to two things: first, she repeatedly told him the behavior hurt and he continued, which is a boundary violation; second, commenters questioned his motives and emotional maturity. A few responses pointed out that the twin study story sounded dubious and accused him of weaponizing a fake “study” to justify shaming her. That combo, dismissing her feelings and inventing “science” to back it up, is what drove so many readers to call him out.
The “study” and the truth about quick fixes
In the post, her husband claimed there was a study where one twin did jaw exercises and became “beautiful” while the other remained “ugly.” Several commenters challenged that claim, saying there isn’t credible evidence that simple tongue exercises reliably eliminate a double chin or transform facial structure. The reality most people pointed to is blunt: changes in facial fat and the appearance of a double chin are typically addressed by overall weight loss, targeted cosmetic procedures, or changes in posture and muscle tone over long periods, not a miracle routine you can push on someone who already feels vulnerable. Whether or not he truly believed the anecdote, using it to suggest she needs fixing is what stung.
What this means for their relationship, and what to do next
People on Reddit framed this as more than a fight about feelings; they saw a potential pattern. If a partner repeatedly belittles someone’s body, especially during fertility struggles and grief, it raises real questions: will he be compassionate with children? Will he respect emotional boundaries? Multiple comments advised she reconsider long-term plans with him because emotional support while trying to conceive is not optional, it’s essential. Others urged her to be firm: tell him clearly that the teasing has to stop, that the twin story felt like a lie used to put her down, and that being called “too sensitive” dismisses very real pain.
What To Take From This
First: your feelings are valid. When you’ve told a partner a gesture hurts you, persistent repetition isn’t affection, it’s disrespect. Second: context matters. Body-shaming comments during times of grief, infertility, or depression aren’t neutral; they escalate harm. Third: listen to the pattern, not just the words. If this is an isolated, thoughtless slip, it can be apologized for and repaired with honest conversation and boundaries. If it’s one of many dismissive behaviors, it’s a red flag about how emotional labor and care are handled in the relationship.
If you’re the person who made the comment: apologize without qualifiers, stop the behavior, and ask how to support your partner instead of offering “fixes.” If you’re the person who was hurt: be specific about what you want to stop, consider couples counseling if you want to repair things, and trust your instincts if you feel ongoing emotional harm. Finally, community reactions, both online and offline, matter because they reflect what many of us need: partners who protect our dignity, especially when we’re most vulnerable.
