I’m Thinking About Not Giving My 27-Year-Old Son His Inheritance Yet and Now I’m Wondering If I’m Making a Huge Mistake
She raised him alone, saved every dollar from his early acting gigs, and believed that one day her sacrifices would be returned in the simple loyalty of an only child. But what started as careful planning for her retirement and his future turned into a nightmare of entitlement, shouting matches, and a $600,000 condo request that forced a single mother in Los Angeles to choose between her son’s demand and her financial security. That’s the story a Reddit user shared in a viral AITA post, and it’s raw, painfully relatable, and full of complicated love.
The timeline: saved earnings, a threatened lawsuit, and money blown
The poster says she saved her son’s acting money from when he was two. At 18 he demanded the $50,000 she’d been holding and threatened to sue until she gave it to him. She reports that he “blew through it with nothing to show.” Later he joined the military, completed his contract, and after he was discharged the poster thought he’d matured. She then gave him what she considered part of an inheritance from her mother, $100,000 split as $50,000 in cash and $50,000 in Tesla stock. According to the OP, he used $50,000 to pay off credit card debt, which prompted her exasperated “EYE ROLL!” in the original post.
The condo ask that pushed her to a boundary
Now, the son wants her to sign over the condo she’d planned to leave him as an inheritance so he and his pregnant girlfriend can move in. The unit is worth about $600,000, with $220,000 still owed on the mortgage and tenants currently living there. The mother says she could maybe retire at 55 in four years if she makes financially prudent choices, otherwise she won’t be able to retire until 60. She fears that if she transfers the condo now, he might pull equity out, sell it, or otherwise leave her without the cushion she needs if an unexpected expense or health crisis hits.
She also writes that she doesn’t care for his girlfriend and anticipates “nothing but problems,” and details a painful dynamic: when he gets upset he yells, screams, gives her the silent treatment, and makes her feel disposable. Despite admitting she’s made mistakes, she says she’s always put him first.
Her decision and the message she sent him
After getting feedback on Reddit and doing some soul-searching, she decided not to sign the condo over. Instead she offered it as a rental to him and his girlfriend. In her post update she shared the text she sent Tyler, which she framed as both boundary-setting and an attempt to keep the relationship intact:
“I’ve thought long & hard about how you talk to me when you’re not getting your way. LV may be a better option for you both that way my feelings won’t keep getting hurt & I won’t be in your business on a regular bases (if at all) but that’s all up to you Tyler. I am willing to allow you to rent the condo because I fear she will try to sue for anything in your name if things go south. I want you both to be successful parents together for the child’s sake & maybe that doesn’t include me. I want you to think long & hard what you will do your future depends on it. I support whatever you decide. I’ve tried to buy your love long enough then play victims when it doesn’t go in my favor. I love you more than you will ever realize but I have to put me 1st for a change.”
She added that Tyler texted her a simple “I love you ❤️” and she replied that those words meant a lot and that she has faith in him.
How Reddit reacted, tough love and practical advice
The post drew thousands of comments, and the chorus was largely supportive of the mother setting limits. One of the top comments bluntly stated, “No one is owed an inheritance before you are even dead.” Others echoed that sentiment: “It’s not an inheritance if you’re still alive,” and pointed out that she’s only 51 with decades of life ahead, medical bills, emergencies, or changing circumstances could make her need the condo’s equity.
Many commenters urged legal protection and financial safeguards. A frequent recommendation was to consult an attorney about trusts and asset protection so the condominium can be reserved as an inheritance without risking her present security. Several people warned about enabling behavior and entitlement, arguing that handing over a major asset to someone who “yells and screams” when upset would be financially and emotionally reckless.
There were also voices who focused on her heartbreak: commenters acknowledged how painful it is to love someone who doesn’t reciprocate in mature ways, and praised her for finally putting her own future first rather than continuing a pattern of buying love with money.
Why this is so emotionally volatile
This story taps into primal fears: the desire to be needed, the hope that children will care for parents in old age, and the shame many parents feel when their grown kids disappoint them. In single-parent households especially, the parent often sacrifices to create security for a child, and when that sacrifice feels unreciprocated it cuts deep. Add Los Angeles rent and the enormous cost of starting over there, a pregnant daughter‑in‑law, and the pressure of retirement planning, and you have a recipe for intense family drama.
What To Take From This
This Reddit thread is a reminder that love and mortgages are not the same thing. You can love your child unconditionally and still refuse to put your own financial future at risk. Practical next steps many commenters suggested, and that the OP herself began to take, include setting firm boundaries (a rental rather than a gift), getting legal advice about trusts or other protections, and not conflating inheritance with entitlement while you’re still alive.
Ultimately, protecting your resources is not betrayal, it’s survival. Saying no can be an act of love, for yourself and for your child, because it forces accountability and prevents resentment from eating both of you alive. The mother’s update, hard, brave, and human, shows that boundaries can reopen the door to reconciliation instead of burning it: he replied “I love you,” and that small message may be the beginning of a more respectful, grown-up relationship. If you’re in a similar spot, take care of your future first, and then choose how and when to help others from a place of strength, not depletion.
