I Refused to Give Up My Hobby Because of My Mom’s Religion and Now It’s Causing a Huge Conflict
There’s a particular sting when something that has been a quiet refuge since childhood, in this case, drawing since age five, suddenly becomes a battleground. That’s the situation one Reddit user, u/Littlegoonerweeb, described in a recent AITA post: their sketchbook was discovered by their very religious mother, who has recently grown stricter about religious rules and now forbids drawing people or animals.
For the poster, art is how they cope with stress and boredom; for their mother, it’s a spiritual transgression. The result is guilt, secrecy, and an aching choice between honoring a lifelong passion and placating a loved one.
What actually happened, according to the poster
The original poster explains they have drawn since they were five and that drawing is their favorite thing to do, a way to manage stress and boredom. It’s not a professional pursuit, just something they love, even if they don’t draw as much now. Their mom, who is “really religious,” recently became stricter and now believes drawing people or animals is forbidden. The poster also reveals they are secretly atheist.
A few weeks prior to posting, their mother found the poster’s sketchbook and “got really upset,” telling them they shouldn’t be drawing and that it was wrong and “bad for me.” That confrontation left the poster speechless: for them it’s a hobby and an emotional lifeline. Since then, any time the mom catches them drawing she either tells them to stop or gives a disappointed look. The poster now avoids drawing in front of their mother and does art secretly, which makes them feel like they’re hiding who they are. They don’t want to stop, but they also don’t want to make their mother angry or risk the family relationship, leaving them feeling stuck and unsure what to do.
How Reddit reacted: a chorus of NTA and practical worry
The top responses leaned heavily toward “NTA.” Several commenters said the mother is imposing her religious rules on someone who doesn’t share those beliefs. u/Sir_Loxington summarized a common view: “NTA…It is normal to draw and your mom is being ridiculous. Religion is personal, that means SHE doesn’t have to draw those things if she doesn’t want to.”
Other commenters raised practical concerns. u/Different-Airline672 asked how old the poster is and how dependent they are on their mother, warning that if the parent’s belief system is making up nonsensical rules like this, it might become more extreme. That sentiment was echoed by others who advised keeping the hobby private while the poster lives under their mother’s roof.
Emotional responses were also strong: some people urged the poster to keep drawing and not let what one commenter bluntly called a “cult” mentality dictate their life. Comments ranged from sympathetic stories of growing up with controlling parents to blunt encouragements like “Keep drawing” and “Sketch your heart out,” but there were also calls for boundary-setting and self-protection if the conflict escalates.
Why this hits so hard: identity, control, and the price of secrecy
This conflict isn’t really about pencil and paper; it’s about identity and autonomy. Drawing was introduced as a lifelong comfort for the poster, a nonnegotiable part of how they self-soothe and express themselves. When a parent suddenly frames that outlet as sinful, the child (even if adult now) is forced to choose between belonging in the family’s moral universe and staying true to themselves.
Secrecy takes a toll. The poster says they draw when the mother is not around and feel “like I’m hiding something.” That hiddenness erodes the joy of the hobby and can cause shame, anxiety, and resentment. There’s also the practical anxiety commenters flagged: how old are you, and how much do you rely on your mother financially or for housing? Dependence can make it harder to assert boundaries, and it can make the cost of refusing a parent’s rule much higher.
How to handle it: safety, boundaries, and creative survival
There’s no single right answer here, the options depend on age, financial independence, and how the mother has reacted historically to boundaries. But several practical paths emerge from the post and the Reddit thread:
Assess safety first. If your mother’s strictness has ever escalated to emotional or physical abuse, prioritize safety. Keep art supplies and sketchbooks in a secure place or switch to digital drawing that can be password-protected. If you’re underage and depend on her, consider discreet outlets like online communities, school art programs, or friends who can be supportive.
Set boundaries when possible. If you’re in a position to have a calm conversation, explain what drawing means to you and that you don’t share her beliefs. Some commenters suggested holding your ground until the parent realizes that this hobby isn’t a threat to family faith, one user recounted a parent who eventually accepted their child’s hobby after resistances were set.
Seek compromise. Could you agree to not draw in shared spaces or avoid showing finished pieces? Could you frame your drawings as abstract or nature-focused if that helps ease tensions while you remain true to your craft? Compromise doesn’t have to mean surrender; it can buy space while you plan for greater independence.
Resource and community-building matter. Several Reddit responses recommended finding supportive communities, friends, art forums, or local classes, where you can share and grow without judgment. Art therapy, journaling, or a trusted mentor can also help process the emotional fallout.
Plan for independence. If the relationship is likely to remain controlling, start practical steps toward financial and residential independence. Whether it’s saving money, job training, or talking to other family members who might mediate, having an exit strategy reduces the emotional blackmail that can come with dependent living situations.
What To Take From This
This is a clash between someone’s private spiritual rule and another person’s identity-affirming hobby. The Reddit poster was met with mostly supportive answers, many telling them “NTA”, but also practical cautions about living circumstances and safety. The honest takeaway is that you don’t have to choose between being respectful and being erased. Keep drawing if it fuels your wellbeing, but do so in a way that keeps you safe and gives you options. Boundaries, small compromises, community support, and a plan toward autonomy can let you preserve both your art and your peace of mind. Art is rarely just an activity; it’s a lifeline. Protect it, and protect yourself while you find the path that fits your life.
